Accomplished Women - According to Mr. Darcy
If you are familiar with the Jane Austin classic, Pride and Prejudice, you will remember a tense moment when the characters are discussing which traits define an accomplished woman. Mr. Bingley, a jovial bachelor who sees the good in everyone, insists that women who bare the marks of education by evidence of their ability to “paint tables, cover screens, and net purses” are accomplished. Bingley’s sister, plainly considering herself to be accomplished (if not superior to other women), begins to list her own abilities as evidence of an accomplished woman: great skill in music, singing, drawing, dancing, modern languages, and in communication through tone of voice, body language, expressions, and gait. Mr. Darcy, who is often silent unless questioned, speaks his mind openly at this point in the conversation, saying, “And to all this she must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading.”
What would warrant a woman to be considered accomplished in today’s society? Certainly, we do not hold to the bourgeois attitude of that in Netherfield, but what are our standards? Or has our culture become so determined to over-value the victimized status of many of our women that attaining proficiency and success are no longer marks of, say, a desirable spouse? Although caring for the victimized women of our nation should be a no-brainer for true Christians, raising the standards for our daughters might prevent some of them from ending up in similar conditions.
Let’s turn to the Bible for direction. King Lemuel recounts his mother’s wisdom in Proverbs 31. He provides a list of virtues that are marks of an excellent wife. And let’s be frank, excellent daughters are most likely to become excellent wives. This list includes being trustworthy, hard-working, economical, active, charitable, and wise.
This brings me back to Mr. Darcy’s words. If I may be allowed to re-state his words – not to change the meaning – but to better highlight the truth behind his words, he is saying, “Improvement of her mind is more substantial than all else.” This substantiality can be observed in Pride and Prejudice to enable Darcy’s new love, Elizabeth Bennet, to better herself and eventually understand those things which she failed to grasp early in the novel. With either the upbringing or self-discipline to improve her mind, Bennet was equipped to improve upon her character – a true virtue of an accomplished woman.
Do you know someone that you consider an accomplished woman? You might think of Abigail Adams or Dolly Madison. What about currently? Perhaps there is a woman in your life who manages her family superbly, but still she goes beyond what we may call those basic responsibilities. I am privileged to have friends who I consider accomplished: Teresa Frakes, Kelly Ricer, and Kristi Allee – women who raise their children Biblically and submit to their husbands. Furthermore, they work jobs with integrity and serve the kingdom of God faithfully. Jen Culp is another friend of mine who is an accomplished woman. Not content with reserving her abilities for her husband and four children, nor with having a job, coaching, tutoring, serving at church, and being a City Counsel member, Jen is now also running for Indiana State Representative. And although I would be honored to have her represent my district, I am even more honored by her commitment to improve upon her character: once again, a true virtue of an accomplished woman.
What are we doing to raise accomplished young ladies? Are good grades and nice friends enough for our daughters? Not for me! My daughter Isabella is 14 years old, an 8th grader. She still likes to climb trees, dress up the cat, and tell corny jokes. But she is also excited to try new things. She has tried a variety of sports, arts, and musical activities. She has inquired about various career opportunities, discussed countries she wants to visit, and has already job-shadowed. Mr. Darcy would be proud of her because she also improves her mind by extensive reading: fiction and non-fiction. I could write another whole blog just on the things she has done to improve herself. Let’s raise our daughters to excel pass the inept standards of our society.
So what’s my point? Who are the women in your life who you consider accomplished? Are they accomplished because they host good parties and dress in-fashion? Or do you know truly accomplished women who improve upon their minds, thereby improving their characters? For ladies reading this, do you apply yourself to be exceptional? Do you aspire to hold true to the spirit of Proverbs 31?
13 April 2018
